Is Loyalty A Must?

By | December 21, 2015

Is loyalty a MUST? YES will be my respond.

Over the years, I have encountered different types of people. Certainly, the ones that I find amusing are those that forget their benefactor or their mentor. Not only that betraying your mentor is something I can NEVER accept.

Is loyalty a must - some people

Mentor was betrayed by his own student

I have seen time and again where there are people (in order) to climb the corporate ladder will do their best to please their immediate supervisors. I am surprised that the same person within the span of few years after receiving numerous guidance and promotions from his/her mentor had the audacity to betray the mentor. Taking sides with the top management and “condemn” his/her benefactor or mentor!!! It happened in 2013 when the mentor was finally being kicked out of the department and the same individual who betrayed him took his mentor’s job. I simply cannot accept that this really happens in real life. So amazing to me.

Well, you may say these are facts of life. I beg to differ that we don’t have to succumb to this level in order to climb the corporate ladder.

I did not betray my ex-colleague

There are many things we can do to ensure that we uphold our virtues while working in corporate world. There was another incident where my ex-supervisor told me to take over an account from my fellow colleague. I was told that my ex-colleague could not manage the customer well so it made sense for me to take over. I told my ex-supervisor whether he had to consider the feelings for my ex-colleague and also knowing my ex-colleague, he won’t do stupid things to antagonize the customer. I did not take up the offer eventually as I knew this will cause friction between me and my ex-colleague. Secondly, if my ex-colleague was not able to handle, it does not mean I can do better than my ex-colleague. I knew my decision not to accept the offer caused my ex-supervisor pretty angry with me but I maintained my stance and explained to him the situation where the best way will be sort things out and identify the root cause. I know there are customers who always want to take advantage, but I will not let my customers crossed the line once they went overboard.

Till this day, my ex-colleague still value me as a friend and he knows that I won’t betray him. Similarly, I have a handful (not many) ex- colleagues whom I still value as friends as I know they are not fair weather friends rather they are deem as trustworthy and having a strong sense of loyalty/brotherhood.

Those who have gone through military service will know that loyalty or brotherhood plays a pivotal role when we are on a mission. We cannot act alone or act selfishly. We have been taught to watch out for one another no matter what.

 

Showing sense of gratitude to my teacher

This is my story on loyalty to my teacher back in 1987.

Is loyalty a must - recentIs loyalty a must - school

These are the pictures that I took with my teacher both in 1987 and 2013. Though, I no longer lived in Singapore but I will make a point to call and meet up with my ex-teacher whenever I come back to Singapore for a short holiday. He is the one that taught me about being fair to others and gave me the full autonomy to lead a team of players. Back in 1987, I still remember my teacher, Mr Ser tasked me to handle inter-class Table Tennis competition hoping to identify the younger players to replace the older players like myself as we were about to graduate.

I made the mistake by assuming that my class will automatically go into the 2nd round (without competing for 1st round) as the total number of classes competing for having an odd number. I made my own decision and it caused some of the students unhappy with my decision. Mr Ser called me up and gave a good scolding as it was not done fairly. He told me that even though my class will likely win the competition due to many strong players in my class but my class should NOT automatically go into 2nd round without casting votes or draw lots. It should not be based on my own decision. I humbly accept his analogy and I felt bad for being unfair to others. Truly, Mr Ser had given me ample opportunities to learn to lead a team of players to represent my school, he gave me chances as I made numerous mistakes along the way. Not only that, Mr Ser gave me the full autonomy to decide who will be playing (singles or doubles) for every competition. Practically, I orchestrated the entire competition for 1986 and 1987 Table Tennis competition.

 

Can I become a leader - school

To win the competition within 1 year is a miracle to me. In 1986, my school lost every single match as we were new to competition and we had no coaches to guide us. (Just note, we didn’t have any National Youth players in our school let alone we didn’t have a proper training).  To cut the story short, one year later we overcame the odds against the likes of some famous schools where we emerged as runner-up in 1987. Definitely, I gave credit to my players and especially to my favorite teacher, Mr Ser for giving so many opportunities to us. Of course winning the competition requires a lot of things but in this article, I will mainly touch on showing my gratitude towards my teacher as he played the main role in this aspect.

Loyalty will always be tested when you are in a situation whether to betray your friend, mentor, relative in exchange for something better. Or it can be simple things like when was the last time you called  or visited your friend, benefactor, mentor or relative.

Is loyalty a must? Life is very short and we should take every opportunity we have to make a call or visit your friend, mentor, relative whenever you are given a chance. Don’t betray them as life is short and it is certainly not worth the while.

Similarly, I have a benefactor that I want to thank and his name is Michael Dee, CEO of Morgan Stanley in 2002-2006 who was my customer at that time. Click here for more details.

Thank you for taking the time to read my article and should you have any questions or comments. Do feel free to ask in below section.

Thanks,

Stanley

28 thoughts on “Is Loyalty A Must?

  1. cutepackagingbeautyproducts

    Hi Stanely. I totally agree with you that loyalty is a must. Loyalty is a virtue that I value the most in friends, family members and colleagues. I can’t imagine a student betraying his mentor just to climb the corporate ladder. One should never bite the hands that feed him, or in this case, betray the person who gave you guidance and mentorship in work.

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Yes, it is very sad and I too can’t believe it happened to my ex colleague. I sympathize with him, I certainly felt the pain he went through. I hope we will have more people appreciate the true meaning of loyalty or brotherhood.

      Reply
  2. jamesdanner

    Great site. Good information and lessons for beginners. I liked the story about your mentor and your Wealthy Affiliate Review. You attitude about under promising and over delivering will bring you an abundance of happy followers. I would consider some social buttons, I would share your site with my social networks. Have a wonderful and productive day.

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Thank you for spending some time to rest this article. Yes, I always treasure my relationships with my teacher and those whom I get in touch with. Life is so short and not worth the time to betray especially those who treated you well. I hope it will encourage more people to be grateful to one another and definitely loyalty or brotherhood is still very important regardless of what age we are living. During crisis, we need our true friends to help us and only friends or relatives who carry this loyalty spirit will be there for us.

      Reply
  3. Lovejeg

    Hi Stanley
    Thank you for allowing me to comment. This is such an impressive site.

    I believe in loyalty. And it is not given but earned. I have had many mentors fail me. I lost faith in mentors.

    I have vowed to never be like that.

    Thank you for the information it has been inspirational.

    Michelle

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Michelle,

      Yes loyalty is extremely important to all of us as we need it during times of crisis and tests.

      Sorry to hear about your past mentor cases but do not let this bother you as I had many encounters of people who are not truly genuine friends but fair weather friends. It is so strange to me that every time after a major tests in my life, i will lose some friends but i will gain another group of friends who knew what was going on. During times of crisis, your faith will be tested just like your core values and those with the same mindset will know you more and want to be your true friends.

      No major lost to me as I managed to gain genuine friends along the way. Birds of the feather flock together.

      Reply
  4. paul goodwin

    Great site and very interesting

    such an interestimg topic something I have not seen before

    well done and thaks for the info

    best regards

    paul

    Reply
    1. Stanley Tee Post author

      Paul,
      Thanks for taking time to read this article. I am hoping more people will have their conscience check and hopefully they will uphold loyalty and brotherhood spirit in their own community.

      Reply
  5. James

    Hey Stanley,
    One thing that separates my best friends and my close friends is their loyalty. Not everyone you meet in the real world will stick to their word or promise, but I always try to make sure that the people closest to me are loyal and would not stab my back. It is definitely an important characteristic to have. Thanks for the reminder (:

    Reply
    1. Stanley Tee Post author

      James,
      Well said. Amen to that. I salute you for keeping your promises and loyalty towards to your friends, relatives and those who are close to you. I was backstabbed many times when I worked in the corporate world. Definitely I want to stay away from that kind of people and to me, only those who have gone through a certain crisis of test then I know who are the reliable ones. Thanks for taking time to read my posts and write this comment. Thank you James.

      Reply
  6. Riaz Shah

    Hey Stanley,
    I love reading your articles, loyalty is something everyone needs to have but sadly many today ignore that when they are hungry for success.

    There are many other ways but taking over your mentor is quite heartless, I know its a common thing for many people to do that today but its still something disturbing that shouldn’t actually happen. Will definitely lecture my nephews about this

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Riaz,

      Yes, we live in a world that lacks moral and core values. Backstabbing your mentor is definitely a NO NO to me and we need to share to as many people as possible that we must show our gratitude towards those who help us. Loyalty and brotherhood is often being neglected in today’s discussions and I wish to share this article so that this particular virtue can be active again.

      Reply
  7. Ankit

    Hi Stanley,

    Great post about loyalty, we all have faced disloyal people in our lives which makes trusting someone so difficult especially in an office environment where there is always that someone lurking around to ruin things for you, I rarely feel a sense of trust with anyone at work, its always upto a limit but personally I always try to be loyal to my co-workers and that is a virtue which I implement in my life daily, of course few things happened which made me question that why should I always be loyal but then I couldn’t change that fact in me even if i wanted to for my benefit sometimes. Thanks for reminding me that I am not alone 🙂

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Ankit,

      Yes you are not alone. Working in corporate world these days are getting tougher to have loyalty especially companies are facing retrenchments. It is sad that money and/or power can make a person change and loses his/her core values. Life is too short where money or power will eventually evaporate before our eyes rather we should focus on something that will last – our legacy.

      Reply
  8. NemiraB

    Hello Stanley, your described story is touching and interesting. I think that mentors play important role in our lives. People are lucky who have them, they can learn from them and follow their examples.
    It is an old saying, that the teacher shows up, when student is ready to learn. You had this chance to be supervised and helped by a man who was more experienced as you. It is a great gift.
    Thanks again for getting a chance to see things from your perspective.
    All the best to you, happy writing, Nemira.

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Thank you for reading my article. Yes, it is never easy to get good coach and mentor. One should cherish your own teacher, mentor, benefactor as they don’t come by easily.

      Reply
  9. Todd

    Hi Stanely,

    Really nice post, well thought out and to the heart. I absolutely think that loyalty is a must in everything in life.

    Especially with your online audience, your customers, your friends and family.

    I enjoyed reading about your personal story and it’s great to see how it has effected your life. Like you say, we only have one short life, we might as well be good to one another.

    Thanks,
    Todd

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Todd,

      amen to that. life is so short where we don’t even know when we will die. Might as well live a fruitful and meaningful life. What’s the point of having a short term gain and lose your credibility and your reputation? Reputation takes a long time to build and should cherish it. Losing a reputation is fast and no one wants to treat you seriously if you lose your reputation especially as a disloyal and ungrateful person.

      Reply
  10. Derek Marshall

    Hi Stanley,

    This is a great site and great article.

    Sadly, loyalty is something that is fast disappearing in modern society. The photo and the quote, is ever so true, hitting the nail on the head about people being loyal to a need and not to the person. It speaks great volumes of the person, and of society in general as well.

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Derek,

      Yes, I have to agree with you that loyalty is no longer one of they key virtue in most people’s heart today. Basically, I am doing what I believe is right by not betraying my colleague and placing our core values above short term gain. i rather have long term gain and a good reputation for my name.

      Reply
  11. Stacey

    Hi Stanley, really interesting article on loyalty. I completely agree with you and it’s nice to see someone else with the some integrity in this day and age. I believe that loyalty can take you far – people can see through the fakes, eventually. And what you have with your ex-colleague is a friendship which is a beautiful thing. I love where you’re going with your blog and can’t wait to read more!

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Stacey,

      Thank you for taking the time to read my article. I am merely sharing my feelings and what should be done as some of the core values are fast disappearing in the modern world that we live in. I hope more people will be aware that gaining promotions or wealth in exchange for compromising their core values like loyalty will only be short term gain but they will lose their credibility and reputation. On the other hand, more people will respect you if you choose to uphold your values despite losing the opportunity to climb the corporate ladder. Yes, it’s hard but I have chosen the long term path for the sake of leaving a legacy behind so that my next generation will benefit.

      Reply
  12. Brendan

    Hi Stanley,

    This struck a chord with me. I must admit Loyalty is not really something I think about on a daily basis and not something I have thought about for many years but I do realise that it does have a important place in society. I guess I have really only learnt to trust those closest to me an in turn to be loyal to them. Society today is slightly toxic and so I don’t have a lot of expectation from people, certainly not those who I come into contact with and work with. But this article has changed my view slightly.

    Reply
    1. Stanley Tee Post author

      Brendan,
      Yes, I agree with you that quite a number of people do not truly practise loyalty but they practises common interest and benefits. As long as there is something to take advantage or something to benefit, their so call friendship remains. However, I am looking for a pure friendship and loyalty which only likely exists when you encounter a difficult time and only a handful people will bother to care about you. I treasure those who went through thick and thin with me. Not easy to find and in fact, it is similar to searching for a jewel in your life. However, you identify them. You can form a team and wonderful stuff as you know they will cover your back just like you cover theirs.

      Reply
  13. ariefw

    Loyalty is a must. But it can be view differently for so many people.

    I have to tell you that I love what I do but I don’t love my company. Is this a loyalty or not, I don’t know.

    Because the company can easily betray you when the economy is not good by laying off so many good employees.

    But I will not put bad words on my colleagues. It is a common sense of being a good person.

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Arief,

      Being loyal to a company must be mutual between employer and employee. If the employer only treats the workers as a numbers game just like what you have described then it will be very difficult to get loyalty from the workers. Similarly, if the employer treats every worker with respect and value their talent then there will be some form of loyalty within the company. Being loyal not only refer to employer-employee relationship but it encompasses your relationship with friends, ex-teachers, coach, relatives and etc.

      Overall, I understand what you said and I do agree that it is tough to be loyal to a company who doesn’t value lower level workers. Usually, this kind of company doesn’t have an empathy, charisma leadership. Eventually, they will only get a “lips service” worker, the company will always be wondering why they cannot get good and commited workers. It’s an irony as the problem lies with them but they fail to see it.

      Reply
  14. Alec Terry

    Hi Stanley,

    I could not agree more with you on this subject because without great mentors and teachers we would not be where we are today.

    I think that so many of us forget that success involved building a foundation and for may of us, it takes someone believing that we can do great things to convince us that we can as well.

    Great post! Looking forward to reading more my you in the future!

    Reply
    1. Stanley

      Alec,

      Yes, it is also important to have continual relationship with your mentor as well.

      Cheers,

      Stanley

      Reply

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